Luxury Condo Grand Opening Delayed After Building Floats Six Inches South

Developers assure investors that the shifting foundation is an 'exclusive dynamic oceanfront feature'. Residents are asked to ignore the sound of structural groaning.

The 'Aquatica Grand' was supposed to redefine luxury living in Gator Bay. Instead, it redefined zoning laws when it drifted slightly into a protected manatee habitat. The lead architect blamed unseasonably high tides and 'inferior dirt.' Meanwhile, unit prices have been raised by 15% due to the newly acquired 'migratory views.'