Gator Bay Police Blotter
Public safety logs, public embarrassments, and daily chaos.
Department Notice
Reminder: If your cousin says he 'knows a guy', that is not a valid legal defense in a court of law.
Today's Incidents
Resident reported their lawn flamingos were replaced with real, angry flamingos. Animal control dispatched.
Tourist reported missing wallet. Wallet later found inside nightclub promoter's motivational seminar binder.
White sports car seen doing donuts near the marina. Owner claims vehicle was 'networking'.
Complaint filed after man attempted to pay parking ticket with exposure on his social media.
Noise complaint at Neon Gator Nightclub. Responding officer noted the music was 'financially irresponsible'.
Suspicious suitcase found behind Sharky's Loans. Bomb squad determined it contained only business cards and stress.
Man attempted to register a jet ski as an emotional support vehicle to bring it into a grocery store.
Argument at local car wash over who actually owned the business. Neither party was the registered owner.
Local man arrested after claiming the tow truck 'manifested' his car onto its hook via negative energy.
Reports of unlicensed fireworks near the pier. Turns out to be a crypto launch party. Citations issued.
Logs are updated randomly whenever the dispatch desk finds the wifi password.